Number 10

Hey y'all :)

Let's get straight into it, shall we?!

When I was younger I was always performing in something or other - school plays, concerts, choir performances, eisteddfods and god only knows what else (I remember once having to be a seal and flap about on the floor for a performance art piece... um - WHAT?). 

My mum encouraged, supported and took me to everything, always sat diligently in the many boring audiences, never complaining, and like most of the other parents took hundreds of pictures - mainly for bribery purposes I'm sure. I love to look at them, seeing all the hilarious and embarrassing costumes, remembering the fun and laughter I shared with my friends. My children and family also enjoy looking at them, and taking the mickey, as do our new friends and the old ones that I made the memories with.

The point I am getting at (see I did have one) is that my childhood wasn't censored!

Shouldn't I have second thoughts about posting pictures of my boys?  About sharing the images with strangers? Shouldn't I be more protective?

I have asked myself these questions over and over.

But I am yet to come up with an answer that comprehensively answers these questions, it's not as simple as it looks. But at the same time I haven't stopped me sharing photos of my gorgeous little ones. This is because regardless of all the unanswered questions, I can say with every fibre of my being that I know I am acting within reasonable bounds of care when I share my children with the world. I want to share with you now, why? Why do I post them for the world to see?

I want to evoke the 'punctum' from my pictures. Now I know most of you will have no idea what that is (neither did I when I stated writing), it can be the new thing we learn today, but if you already knew then kudos!

"Robert Barthes, the French theorist, studied many things in his life, one being photography. He distinguished between the studium - elements of a photograph that provoke an interpretive (cultural, social, political) response – and the punctum of a photograph – the element of a photograph that punctures, or wounds. The punctum, in other words, provokes an emotional response in the viewer by establishing a direct relationship between the viewer and the subject of the photograph"

Taken from the blog : Her Bad Mother

The punctum sum's up so well why I share, I want you to feel it from my images, the same way I do with yours.

When I look at your photographs I see them the same as you do - your child through your eyes, and I am punctured by that moment, that fleeting moment - of connection. I then feel that I understand you, as I understand your love for your child. We then share that experience of inexplicable, intense love. I want to share my own experience of that love and so - I share my pictures.

I do not profess to be a great photographer, nor do I own a super duper camera. it is simply me, my iPhone/webcam/adopted digital camera and my family. I take photos for memories, for happiness, for poignancy. I take them to make myself feel better on a bad day, or to remind me of what I have and that they are mine, forever. I take them for you, to show you the wonders that I can't do justice with words. 

I want to make you smile, suddenly, involuntarily - at the positions my children ended up in at a sleepover. 

I want your heart to fill with joy and happiness, the same as Michael felt when he finally became the big brother. 

I want my photos to help you remember the moments you have had with your family - every bubble bath hair-do, every ice-cream smile every momentous first.our own love forograr children.

I hope that you'll see my children through my eyes, know my love for them and recognise it as your own love for your children.

I want you to be punctured!

That felt so good to say. 

xxx

Number 9

Howdy!

So this week I didn't loose any weight... but I didn't put on either! YEY! I had 2 days this week where I felt I over ate, I still had the super healthy food but I felt that I ate to much - my portions crept up on me. I also haven't been out waking the dogs as much as my cold is still horrendous so all in all I am very happy!

I did make my dad's, now famous, stew - it didn't taste as nice as his, but crikey it hit the spot! I even have enough left for lunch, and all 4 boys loved it too!!

So again I am beaming with pride at my 7 year old Michael. On the weekend he managed to play in 2 games of rugby and scored a try!! Woop! Then in school they had the Clunderwen area eisteddfod and he represented the school in the singing competition singing - 'Siom'. He was wonderful, note perfect and on the beat. I thought he deserved to place, but alas it was not to be. He was, however, amazing and I even have the video to share with you :) Also as a side note a quick well done to 2 of my friends daughters that sang the same song for their schools - they were also brilliant!!

Cute right?!

So I am still making progress on Morgan's birthday cake, I am currently working on Ben Elf and Team Umizoomi. I have finished the Peppa Pig family and Princess Holly :) Now if you haven't got children that will all sound very very odd to you, but I can assure you that these are real characters! If I have time tonight I may even make Wilson the Chuggington train - heehee fun filled evening ahead!

On the weekend my car went in for an MOT at our local Kwik-fit centre, now to say it failed is an understatement! The examiner was sooooo picky! I know they have to be, it's their job, but I have never know anyone fail a car because the indicators are slightly different shades of orange, or that the passenger windscreen wiper smears slightly by the bottom of the screen... ARGH! It failed on a break leak which is fair enough , which brings me to how wonderful my husband is. It amazes me that he can turn his hand to anything. He is a fully qualified builder and has no experience when it comes to repairing cars (other than watching his father for years fixing all the family ones and the numerous racing cars that were being used at the time), so to save us the extortionate £300+ fee to have the work done there, we purchased all the parts (thanks to my brother in law's brilliant discount) and he is steadily repairing it. I mean, I could take one look at it and have absolutely no idea, but he just takes it in his stride! I am so proud of him for being able to save us all that extra money! Thanks Babes :) Finger's crossed it will pass now on Tuesday...

Well today I have been craving every possible unhealthy food imaginable. I'm not sure why, but I want to eat everything, even things I don't like! Hehe. You'll be pleased to hear however that I stuck to my diet, and while my hubby had kebab, chips and scampi, I had grilled chicken and mushroom rice. I did treat myself to clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1Pockmargin-left: 1em; text-align: r and let me tell you - MMM!!! They hit the spot and were so much better for me than a packet of dark chocolate digestives.

I visited a friend today (he has just bought his first home with his fiancée) and it made me want to do some more D.I.Y. Rob's and I made good headway on the house a few months back,we completely re-did the living room and purchased all the bits to finished the kitchen, bathroom and our bedroom, but we both got super busy and it kind of went on stop, so I am planning to make a schedule to finish the rest of the house and restore some order! I do need to crack on with the housework though to make sure we aren't cluttered whilst D.I.Y-ing. I'm still not great at that yet - tomorrow I promise I am going to clean the bathroom from top to bottom, and do 3 loads of washing :) 

To end I would like to share some pictures of Michael playing rugby this weekend...

Catch you next time!

xx

Number 8

Continuing form yesterday...

Morgan's birthday party is going to be lovely, but as it's on his actual birthday I have decided that afterwards we need to do something special too - so I have decided to take my boys down to the beach for fish and chips paddling and making sandcastles.

When I was a little girl we used to holiday in Tenby from Birmingham, and it still remains one of my favourite places even though now it's only 20 minutes away! Every time I go it rekindles my love of it - horse and carriage rides, Fecci's ice-cream, Bali Hai Cafe, The Esplanade, three beautiful beaches, lovely gift shops. It makes me happy just thinking about it! I even had the privilege of working in Tenby for a year which I can honestly say was one of the best experiences of my life, especially when I was on the early shifts and I was able to watch the sun come up over south beach and St Catherine's island. Absolutely beautiful.

Sunrise in the winter months on the Tenby  Esplanade

My brain is full of memories from here - and I love making new ones with my boys - I hope the weather will be sunny so we can have a lovely afternoon on Mo's birthday! Making birthday's special for my boys stems from my mum doing it for me - they were always so lovely. She also always made my birthday cake's, I always wanted to make them like she did, and now I do :) I hope my boys follow in our artistic tenancies and want to have the same traditions as I did. Family is so important!!

So I mentioned the other day that I was trying to combine everything (housework, good mum, diet, friends) well I can't report that I have managed to do it all yet. The diet is still going really well thankfully and I am still super determined but the cleaning is taking a back seat again. It frustrates me greatly as I sit on the sofa and want to get up and do it but, just, can't! I even make lists and gee myself up to do it, but alas I still can't. I put it down to the depression but gosh it's frustrating!! I wish I could wave a magic and and have everywhere spick and span. I think I need to adopt the attitude 'One Day At A Time' but it's easier said than done - I want it all done now! heehee. So I am going to set myself little challenges everyday in the hope that I can get back into it. Today for example I am going to do the kitchen counters and the kitchen table. Why don't you do it with me? I won't feel so alone then, LOL. Also if you are more organised than I or have more motivation there is a wonderful blog / facebook / etsy shop called Clean Mama and every day she gives you one thing to do to maintain a clean and tidy house - she's fab, so go check her out!.

I will also be starting to make the 3D components for Morgan's birthday cake this evening - I'm really excited to get started! Tomorrow is weigh day too so fingers crossed for a loss this week - I have been good, promise!

Right off I go to the kitchen...

:D

Number 7

Hi Y'all!

As I write to you I am currently being most of the seven dwarfs - I have a horrid cold! This will not stop me however from writing my fast becoming all consuming blog! I have so much to write about today I may stretch it to two posts! 

First thing to report - I hate being ill :( I am such a baby - I would love nothing more than to simply go to bed and be looked after until I'm better - unfortunately that doesn't happen in this house! I am dosing myself up and eating soup so hopefully I will be better soon! Today I searched on pinterest for remedy's and crikey I didn't realise there would be so many... whether they are old wives tales or not is yet to be told.

But it got me thinking about my dad. When I was younger and even when I had left home if I was ill he wasn't the cuddly type, but what he would do would be to make me stew and dumplings (with plenty of pepper) and a carrot cake (no frosting just gorgeous moist cakey goodness). I would instantly feel better after that! I want to share his recipe for stew with you as I think it is one we should all have and use as a cold remedy, tummy warmer or lovely winter evening meal. I wish he was here now - I could really eat some carrot cake and stew!

Dad's special Stew.

Ingredients - 

500g of diced braising steak or stewing steak

2 x beef OXO cubes

3 potatoes diced

2 carrots sliced

1/2 a swede diced

1 leek sliced

1 packet of dumpling mix (suet)

self raising flour for dusting

gravy granules

salt and pepper

(feel free to add any other veg you like)

Method - 

1. Trim the fat from the beef then place in a large saucepan. Cover with boiling water and crumble in the 2 OXO cubes, then stir well and season with plenty of black pepper.

2. Bring the meat to the boil, then turn heat down to a low simmer. Place the lid on but keep an eye on it - stir every 15 minutes and keep cooking until the meat is cooked through. This will be roughly 1.5 hours to 2 hours approximately.

3. Towards the end of cooking time for the beef, boil the vegetables and potatoes in a separate pan, and make the dumplings following the instructions on the packet (suet).

4. Once meat is finished cooking keep it bubbling gently and add the dumplings. Replace the lid and simmer for 10 minutes, turn and then simmer again for s further 10-20 minutes depending on the size of your dumplings.

5. Add the cooked vegetables to the stew.

6. Thicken the liquid to your taste using a table spoon at a time of gravy granules and stirring well.

Serve with fresh crusty bread and butter.

(I didn't say this recipe was completely healthy did I?!)

Now I could cheat and find you a lovely carrot cake recipe and pass it off as my dads - but I will be truthful... After the 5th or 6th time of him making it, I happened to be getting something out of his cupboard and noticed... a Betty Crocker Carrot Cake packet mix!! Heehee - I never did tell him I knew. But I tell you what - it's the best carrot cake I have ever had - EVER!

Next is the all consuming plan I have in my head for my youngest son's birthday cake. For those of you that don't know I had my own business for a year (after being a chef) doing occasion cakes, cupcakes, cake-pops and any other sweet treat. When my depression became too much though I was forced to stop - I did try to keep going but needed to get better desperately - I miss it terribly but whenever it is a family birthday I get to plough all my creativeness into a cake for them so again the cogs are turning.

Morgan is having a Bob The Builder party this year, but he loves all characters without really having a favourite. I have scowered the internet for images of his favourite characters to make sure I get all the details right, and have finally settled on a design - here is a sketch...

It's going to take me a little while to make the 3D characters, but the 2D ones should be quicker - but he is worth all my efforts! He's also poorly at the moment with a bad tummy bug and can't keep anything down :( I hate it when my boys are ill - I would rather be ill 365 days of the year that have them ill for 5 minutes! All fingers and toes are crossed that it will just be a 24 hour thing! Can't have the birthday boy poorly for next weekend! On his actual birthday we are having the party at a local attraction where they do all the work for you - this will be the first year ever that I haven't made the food and planned the party fun and games myself - but I tell you what, gosh it's so much less stressful. The reason for this, this year, is that my husband will be away in Llanelli for most of Morgan's birthday so to minimise the stress I opted for getting others to do it! Heatherton is an awesome place for little ones parties - having been there to many over the years with the other 2 boys, Morgan is going to love it, it has a 3 floor soft play area, giant board games, pass the parcel, face painting and then a lovely hot and cold buffet followed by jelly and ice-cream! What's not to love, and it's so much cheaper than when I do it myself, they even supply the filled party bags, themed tableware, decorations and invitations!

So I will leave it for now and continue this post next time - told you I had a lot to say didn't I?!

:) xx

Number 6

Fed up of me yet? :D

Today I went for a walk with the gorgeous Donut and Fudge around our local area. I live in one of the most beautiful countries in all the world (in my opinion) and as I walked it was so nice to see the blooming daffodils, primroses and snowdrops that grow wildly all over. As I was looking however my doggies were busily sniffing other dog's poop (I know, I know, disgusting but I have a point) and happily chewing all the rubbish they found along the way (stay with me guys).

This made me feel so cross and frustrated -

Firstly with the mindless owners of the dogs that have fowled and they couldn't be bothered to clear it up.

Secondly with the awful people that think nature is their dumping ground for beer cans, packets, boxes, tins and bottles.

Thirdly to the council for not putting more dog bins and general refuse bins along our gorgeous B roads - where most of us walk our beloved pets.

As I walked I decided that it was up to me to do something about it - If you don't like it - change it, so I came home and purchased this - Silverline Litter Picker. Next time I go on my walk I will be collecting all the rubbish that stupid people throw away, and once I'm done a week later, I will take a photo of all the rubbish and send it to the local paper to see if anyone else thinks that this is acceptable behaviour! I also think a well mannered letter (yes I can be polite) should go with the images to the council, in the hope that they might do something about it. I live almost in the sticks and there is not ONE dog poop bin within a 4 mile radius of where I live - also on the 3 paths I take there isn't a single rubbish bin on the B roads (there is one on our main road and that's it). I may be naive in thinking they will do anything but I will keep trying until we get at least one doggy bin in Llandissilio!

Here are the routes I take:

Together they total 7.5 miles - can you imagine being in a city or large town with only one bin in a 7 mile stretch and No dog bins at all?

I also found this awesome website in America with funny dog fouling signs - here is one that had a free PDF. I'm thinking about printing it out and posting it everywhere!

There are many others on this site which are available to purchase or download free - I urge you to download and print if you can! Make your voice heard! Join in with me and clear up your area - either that or sit back and relax while I do it and you read about it - heehee.

I just hope in some small way I can actually make some sort of a difference.

To end I want to tell you how I was a little proud of myself this evening. We decided to go out to dinner - now this is usually fine as we go to the wonderful Toby Carvery restaurant in Carmarthen. Here I know the menu, I know the food is healthy an the vegetables are steamed. I wanted to try somewhere different though to see if I could manage it on my healthy eating diet. I decided we would go to the Harvester restaurant as I knew most of their menu was flame grilled so healthier than other cooking methods. I was so happy when we got there and read the menu - every item had it's calorific value next to it, which meant I could make an informed choice (I'm not counting kcal's but you can see what's better for you with the lower amounts). They also serve all sauces on the side never on the food which is a bonus, and they have an unlimited salad bar so you can get plenty of fruit and veg. All in all I was very pleased - the food was wonderful and perfectly cooked. I had a baked jacket potato (the only bad point being that they put butter in the middle of it without asking, and it wasn't mentioned on the menu), a grilled chicken breast and garden peas, I also had a portion of bbq sauce on the side. I was so apprehensive before going in, and even reading the menu made me nervous as I wanted so many things that I knew weren't good for me, but I persevered and took the healthy options and crikey I am so glad I did. YEY ME!!

Right, I'll sign off for now and be back soon, oh and hopefully I will of lost some weight again this week! Hope you all are ok.

xx

Number 5

Afternoon all :)

Me on the weekend with Donut and Fudge :) 

So weigh day is here and i am pleased to confirm that I lost a further 2lbs this week :) Yey!! I really am so great full to my lovely nurse for setting me straight about my health problems, and how my diet and weight were making me ill! I am on the path to slimdom and I am not going to falter! I have passed my overall 5% goal now too, which means that my health complaints will of started to decrease - YEY again!!

Ok, so to today's post...


I had a mini melt down on the weekend, I suffer with manic depression but am controlling it with tablets, but this weekend wasn't right. I went grocery shopping by myself (oh yes, no children!! hehe) which I would normally love, but I found myself panicking over which food to buy, how much it would cost, & disappointing everyone. Very random I know. I powered through it and managed to complete the shop without running out of there like the roadrunner, but I felt such unease for about an hour afterwards! Luckily I have felt better since, I even managed to do some housework in the kitchen which made me feel better too :) I must say though that I am glad to have less of these panicky episodes, so now when they appear it is such a shock hehe that it almost makes it worse as I am not expecting to feel that way! I hope by telling you this you realise your no alone in your own craziness!! lol.


Now housework - I have never been a domestic goddess (how I wish I was) but before Christmas I managed to keep the entire house clean and tidy for around 2 months!! This for me is a record, but lately I have found my concentration suffering, in part due to the depression, and so concentrating on more than one thing is impossible - e.g: diet and exercise, or mum duties and housework duties - I can't seem to do both! To try and help with this I make lists, spreadsheets, goals but still I seem to be failing when it comes to it! I recently downloaded a housework binder printable from Clean Mama Printable's on Etsy in the hope that it would help, now these are absolutely gorgeous and so helpful but I can't get my head into gear to do it!! I do hope over the next few weeks I manage to claw back the housewife side of me and manages to get the house tidy/clean again! It can't be nice for the boys to have a messy house now can it?!


I have been getting so many questions on my facebook about my diet and how I'm doing it, what I'm doing - so I thought I would share with you a week in my life meal plan - first, you'll need to print off this free planner from here (organisedhome.com is amazing), now here is my completed meal plan :)

I hope this helps guys :)

Finally I just want to share this gorgeous picture of my youngest son Morgan with you - we went to the beach over the weekend and, well, he got covered in sand!! So as a treat I gave him an extra long bath (we normally have quick showers as there are the 3 of them) and this was the result - a new hair style :D

I'll be back again soon, promise!

Sam

♥♥♥♥ 

Number 4

So...

Firstly an apology for taking so long to finally getting a blog up - I have had so many technical issues with blogger the last week I have actually gone grey... well not actually but you get my point! but I am pleased to report tat I am here, not quite back to normal (I can't upload any new piccies) but here none the less!

Now I have written and re written this blog post to try and get it visible so hopefully 17th times the charm. My gorgeous son Mathew broke his thumb on the weekend playing a rugby match. He is the more timid of my boys, but was sooooo brave when we went to the hospital - he can't however write, play Xbox, play rugby, do karate or swimming for a few weeks so he's feeling pretty fed up!

In other news, I am doing really well wit my healthy eating - I lost a further 4lbs this week which makes 13lbs in total, in just 3 weeks! Go Me! My children and husband are very supportive (even if they eat chocolate in front of me!) checking what I can and can't have, and only ever jokingly put food in front of my face sometimes! LOL Seriously though they are a great help,I couldn't do it if I didn't have the support - also all my lovely Facebook followers are supportive too and I get excited every weigh day to tell you all how I'm doing! I'm hoping for another loss this week and will update you on monday.

Now I want to bring a cause that is very close to my heart to your attention, but first the back story as to why. 

My son Michael is 7 years old and is fit and healthy - he does karate, swimming, rugby, running, sports and anything else active or outside. He loves animals and drawing and is very good in school. To look at him he just looks like any other 7 year old (excepting that he is super tall!) however under the surface he has a condition called cerebral paulsy. 

Now firstly I want to quash any thoughts you had that people/children with it are wheelchair bound, can't speak and are severely challenged in every day life - this is not always the case, it varies to all extremes. When I was pregnant with Michael I had 3 horrid urine infections which have affected the growth of a certain part of his brain (like a stroke) and caused the cerebral paulsy. 

As soon as Michael could walk we noticed that his foot in-tuned, this was misdiagnosed and treatment failed.  In what feels like 100 different doctor's appointment and tests we finally had a diagnosis. As he has grown bigger and got older his symptoms haven't worsened but more have become apparent. To date he has bladder problems, a seriously high pain threshold (so if he gets hurt it's very hard to tell), falling, over tired,weakness in his left leg and left arm/hand, and finally he feels the cold even when it's hot!. Almost every night after stopping being active his left side droops like a stroke and he is in a lot of pain. He looses strength in his left hand and can't grip properly,  he walks with a limp and in-turned foot. In school he can't bend his left leg like other children so he finds it very uncomfortable to sit for any length of time on the floor, so he as a special seat in assembly or during any events in the hall. 

Michael very rarely let's any of this stop him - for the past 3 years in school he has won all the running, obstacle, skipping races and sack races he has been in, he is also the star player on the rugby team scoring tries every game and tagging relentlessly, he takes part in weekly karate and is almost ready to go for his first belt, he swims every week (twice from next week) and is on the same stage as his older brother. He is so outgoing and enthusiastic about everything that he makes every day a delight! Of course we have our bad times when he is naughty like any 7 year old but crikey the good outweigh the bad.

                 

              Monkey                                             Exploring rock pools                                      Ready to play rugby

I wanted to share this with you just to highlight cerebral paulsy and the wonderful organisation that is Scope which every year raises money to help support families and sufferers of it. Having taken a leaf out of so may stories from them we strive to support Michael to achieve his goals - he wants to play for the Scarlet's rugby team and then the Welsh rugby team when he gets older - and most importantly to keep him active. He doesn't know that e has this disorder, he just knows that something is wrong in his head which makes his leg poorly, but when the time comes we will have to tell him, and explain that he needs to continue the example and path that we have set him on with activity levels - if Michael slows down and stops moving as much he could potentially loose the use of his left leg, and eventually his arm too. 

One of the main things we haven't done is class/register him as disabled, even though technically he is I want him to have every possibility possible in his life, I don't want him to get older and feel like he has to live up to the disability, claim benefits and sit on his bum for the rest of his life (If the time comes where he finally needs to then we will be there to help but it is not for us right now). He will never get better, and he may get much, much worse but he is a fighter and strong and whatever happens in the future we are there for  him, as are the people from Scope - with support and guidance. We love him more than life, as do we the other 2.

So that is all from me this time - I will be back on Monday for weight loss update and with a super healthy recipe that looks to god to be true! I hope you take the time to have a look on the Scope site, it really is wonderful!

Later's Everybody :D

xx