Number 24

It's all change here at Me Plus Six headquarters!

We have been planning our future a bit over the last couple of weeks and came to the conclusion that I need a career when the boys are all in secondary school so we can continue to have a wonderful life once they are all grown up.

As I have mentioned before we are on a strict budget - the like of which means all our bills are paid, our debt reduces each month and we get to spend money on the boys and doing up the house. It also gives us a deficit that we are saving for our holidays every year.

So career wise I have never really had one. I decided to take a year out after my G.C.S.E's (I had had a very difficult final year, being bullied and mistreated) before I did my A-levels, and then when I was almost 18 I gave birth to my gorgeous first son Mathew - so that kind of stopped everything. I had always wanted to be a mum. It was the only real job I wanted to do with my life - but alas that doesn't pay the bills so I have tied my hand at a few things over the years.

When I found out I was pregnant (it was a bit of a shock), I took it upon myself to go to a training organisation to gain some qualifications (I had a bit of a panic when I thought I was going to have a son and no A-levels) in Information Technology - or computers to you and me. I did it and gained four, which I was very pleased with, but then I was poorly towards the end of my pregnancy so had to stop at that. I got my wish however, as I then became a mum to the most beautiful, content little boy, a little earlier than planned but still very much wanted and loved. I stayed at home with him, and then with his little brother Michael until he was about eight months old. We needed a little extra income at this point and so I started working in our local Spar stores part time for about five months.

After Morgan was born and about seven months old, again we needed a bit more income so I happened to stumble across a job with Pembrokeshire County Council where the only qualification I needed was to be able to speak Welsh. Done. I stayed with them for two years - most of which I enjoyed - I was a Road Safety Officer teaching children how to cross correctly and how to ride their bikes carefully on the roads. My father died just before I left and when they heard I had cancelled a school i had for that week they were furious, so I told them to stuff it.

I wanted to pursue a career so decided I needed to get into college and get qualified, and I had always been interested in cooking and food so why not give that a go. I was accepted and thrived. I even found myself a trainee chef job in the Giltar Hotel Tenby with a wonderful head chef named Chris, who was coming to the end of his career and eager to pass on all he had learned. I absolutely loved this job, but unfortunately the hours were killing me - being away from my boys for 14 hours every day, and missing their concerts, plays, sports days was making me terribly depressed. I stayed with them for a year and then both myself and the head chef left at the same time, I couldn't bare the thought of being there without him, so it gave me the out I needed - the college course was a bust too as our practical tutor was rubbish - I ended up teaching her how to do things! Ridiculous, so I left that too.

So after being home for a few months I had had the opportunity to make cakes for friends and families birthdays, and the compliments and the way it made me feel was superb, so I bit the bullet and decided to start my own business - We Love Cake. I set up a Facebook page and blog, I eventually had a website too and the business grew and grew. I started with making 1 - 2 cakes every week and when I closed at was at the top making 8-9 big cakes, 100 cupcakes and 20-30 cake pops every week. I loved every second of the year I had doing this job, I even enjoyed being up until 3am making sure a cake was perfect, and then getting up at 6am just to check again. Unfortunately a lot of horrible things befell our family during this time, and so I took the very hard decision to close after my health deteriorated.

So this leads me to where I am now. I have been doing nothing but getting better and enjoying being a wife and mum for the last ten months, with the odd cake thrown in for family for good measure. We have panned the next two years finances completely - every single day is accounted for with the lowest possible income and highest possible expenditure to ensure we can afford everything. Every year we will have roughly the same deficit - although it will increase after this year once all the debts have been paid off. Rob and I then got to talking about the future and worked out some of the things that will change when the boys get older - for example they will all start to drive - costly, they may decide to go to university - extremely costly, they may have children - super costly, ad as we want to be able to provide everything for our boys so they don't have to struggle as much as we have we needed a plan.

When the boys leave secondary school we will stop receiving child benefit and child tax credit. These aren't huge amounts but money in is money in. We should have less outgoings - as the weekly shop will decrease (hopefully heehee), the electricity/water should decrease and our fuel bills for running them all over the place should decrease by quite a bit. We still want to be able to travel though, and enjoy our later years (at the ripe old ages of 41/42), and be able to support the boys and their families if needed.

So this brought us along to talking about pensions, retirement and my career, or current lack of.

As I mentioned earlier I have only really wanted to be a mum, so what is next when I'm not needed any more (or not as much)? What can I do to help make sure we have enough money to cover everything and still be able to save and go on holidays, or treat the kids/grand-kids?

Long story long, I have decided after many discussions with Rob as to what would be a good career and path forward to become a teacher - primary school, junior age group. What brought me to this? Well I love children, I thoroughly enjoyed teaching them when I worked with the council and I think I have done an OK job with mine. Also the hours are good, the holidays are great and the salaries aren't bad either, even at the lowest end. There will always be children so there will always be a need for teachers, a definite plus point. I love passing on my knowledge to people, and enjoy making people happy, both good points for a teacher. If we decide to move away or to a different county, well everywhere needs teachers.

For this to become reality - is to get qualified, but I still want to be a stay at home mum while the boys are still young. My first stop was the Careers Advice Service from the government, to see what qualifications I need, what training courses there are and what the different paths are to get into teaching. This service not only told me everything I needed to know and how to achieve it, but it also tested academically to see in what areas I would need to improve.

The next step is to get A-levels, which will then help me to get onto the university course I need. I searched and found that the best ones for me to do were core subjects so I applied to do English Language and Literature, Mathematics and Chemistry, I was a little disappointed to see that there are no local colleges that offer a Welsh A-level, but never mind. I am currently waiting for my interview and then to fin out if I have been accepted - I am super nervous but also looking forward.

So that's where I am at the moment - in limbo but with a plan! I have been out and purchased the G.C.S.E course books for the subjects I have applied to take so I can brush up over the summer and be, hopefully, as if I have gone from year five to sixth form. Well that's the plan anyway.

I hope you have all had a good couple of days, mine have been ok - bit down in the dumps but feeling better today after my lovely friend Melanie said something really poignant - I said I felt as if I was at the bottom of a mountain staring up, and she said "but just imagine the view when you reach the top!" How brilliant is that eh?! So happy again today - I managed to do all the cleaning and bake some yummy treats, play with the kids and mow the lawn while Robs worked this Saturday helping out our best friend. Brilliant isn't it. Funny how words can really change your mood!

Right I better sign off - It's getting late and it's movie time!

OO one more quick thing - I forgot to tell you the other day about a shop I came across in Cardiff shopping centre - Americandy, ever heard of it? It is basically an American sweet shop. They stock all the brands you see on your favourite US sitcoms, they had every possible flavour of pop tart, all the soda's and water brands and they even had Lucky charms, Fruit Loops and Flintstone's Boulders cereals. I loved everything and more importantly wanted to buy everything!

Hugs and smiles.

xxx

Number 19

Hey y'all,


So I have quite a bit to talk about today. So go and grab a cup of tea and a couple of your favourite biscuits and sit and read with me for a while.


Firstly I have decided to cancel the BBQ I was going to have this weekend - why? Because the weather is up to some very odd tricks at the moment (global warming is very real!). In March we had spring - beautiful flowers blooming, light rain showers and some milder days, and then towards the end of March we had Summer - 24 degree heat waves, beautiful sunshine and far too many men walking about wearing sandals with socks (why?). Now we are in the beginning of April and we have gone back to winter - storms, gale force winds, endless rain and believe it or not, snow. How ridiculous right? So I have cancelled, even though in Wales we are used to some pretty crummy weather, I am not going to take it to the extreme and stand outside in the snow flipping burgers.


I have also been busy working on the children's book, I have finished and typed up the first story and have started adding illustrations to it - it looks really cute! Can't wait to finish it!

So yesterday I spent all day going though our finances. This was a tedious task, but gosh it feels better when it's done! I created a spreadsheet with three pages showing our income/outgoings, our debt and bank forecast for the next three months. Our finances have been in turmoil for some years, we have tried to fix it in the past and have almost managed it, but hen something seems to always come along and knock everything for six again, taking us back to square one. Well not this time (she says with fingers and toes crossed)! So being the honest person I am, I want to tell you what I did to get our finances back on track.


I created an excel spreadsheet detailing our in-comings and out-goings, their dates and amounts so we know exactly is going on money wise and then any defecit cn be used on our debts (on top of the monthly payments) to decrease them. This is called a debt snow ball. In the bottom rows - I used auto-sum to calculate the totals and then again to add and subtract them to get the deficit.


Then the nasty page - the debt. Now we have quite a bit but I have organised it (using the bank forecast page) so that by June 12th we will only have the secured loans and the mortgage left - Yey! Then we will be able reallocate the money we were using to pay the little debts on the bigger debts, thus clearing them in a shorter amount of time. Hence what I said earlier 'The Debt Snowball' effect.


On this one I have columns for amounts, months due, payments, totals and notes for phone numbers or completion dates. Then once I have completed clearing a debt I grey it out so it not only stands out but makes me smile knowing it's gone. Woooo! Also if you look in the note columns (all of this again corresponds to the bank forecast page) there are final payment dates for the debts for when they will be cleared - I put these here to spur me on to keep on track and to see our debt becoming smaller and smaller.


OK, so now to the final page - the bank forecast. This is what took me the most time as I had to correspond it all to the dates money comes in and when the bills go out. I used auto-sum to save me having to do the maths and confusing me further (there is only so much my little brain can take), everything tallies to the date I need to pay it with cash, card, or direct debit, and more importantly when we get paid! There is also a total column so I always know there is enough money every day to cover whatever needs to be.There is a column stating what I have paid and then once I have done it I colour it red, a bit like giving myself a little tick of good work. Just because we are adults, doesn't mean we can't have a little praise like the kiddies! 


Now the way I have incorporated the snowball effect is to use the bank forecast spreadsheet to show me when I will have a big enough deficit to clear the debts, or to make substantial payments on them. I start with the smaller ones and progress to the larger (the final one will be the mortgage), I then include them into the forecast making sure it doesn't affect further dates (the genius that is auto-sum again) and keep going like that until I am debt free, also marking them off on the debt page too.


Now I understand that this is a lot of work,but it is so rewarding when you can see the results of the decreasing debt and the amount left in the bank each week/month increasing. I hope I haven't bored you with this - but I think it could help if you are in a similar position to us.


Onto a recap of our lives thus far, in regards to the most wonderful and the downright crap in regards to money. I would imagine it is a similar story to many others that are in debt, but I thought I would share so you know your not alone in making bad decisions or having people cause problems for you. I have also added some images for you to peruse off our most memorable moments.

Outside our new home in 2002

In December 2001 I fell pregnant with my first son Mathew. I was still working at this point supporting us, and Robs was in college doing mechanics. We knew we needed to get a house as we were currently living with his parents and there wasn't enough room for a little one as well. We applied to the council and were very lucky to get this house, which we later purchased, in Llandissilio. 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, living room and a lovely large kitchen, it also had/has two huge gardens which meant our little one/ones would be safe playing. Robs left college to get a job so that we would have an income for our growing family, as I was having a horrendous pregnancy so left work earlier than planned. 




Fast forward to the August of 2002 and our little bundle Mathew was born and Robs started working with a man as a labourer. In the November Rob was still going to work but had stopped being paid. As Christmas was coming we made the decision to try and get some store credit (we now know this was a BIG mistake) so we could afford to have a good first Christmas together. 

 Mummy with new little Mathew & Daddy with baby Mathew

In the new year, Robs managed to get himself some more work (again labouring) fitting driveways. We were scraping by and making the minimum payments on our store credit. Towards the summer of that year (2003) the same thing happened, Robs continued to work but stopped being paid. The boss fled. So we were struggling again, and then came the credit cards. 


Robs then found another job building extensions on the secondary school Preseli in Crymych. Robs loved this as it was our old school where we had met and fallen in love, and where we hoped our boys would go when they were bigger. Six months passed and we were back to not being paid again and Mr. Boss Man disappearing without a trace. 


This time we got a loan - ha, yes, we really were that stupid. It fixed us for the time being but ended up causing more harm than good. Did you know if you can't make the required monthly payments on loans, store cards, and credit cards that they charge you an extortionate amount? Well, we began to learn this, and our debt crept ever higher.
That September, thankfully, Rob got a job with a building firm called TPT, who not only paid him every week but also put him through college on a day release course to become a fully qualified builder. YEY - some stability at last. 
We continued on like this until the October of 2004 when I gave birth to our second son Michael. 

Mummy with a very new Michael & Daddy with gorgeous baby Michael

Robs had a steady job, was getting qualifications and we were keeping going, paying monthly amounts on our debt.

On our wedding day 08/10/2005

In the March of 2005 we found out that we were eligible to purchase our house and could get a 100% mortgage - Woohoo we said. Robs had stable work and we could afford it. So deciding to do this took a few months but we were also told we could have a loan to go with it to bring the house up to a better standard, so we jumped at the chance and consolidated all the debt we already had - good bye store cards, credit cards and loan, and hello one easily manageable payment. Now being ever the optimists we thought things were on the up, and so decided to get married. This happened in the October and was one of the best days of my life (I will tell you about the day in a future blog). 


No money problems, we now owned a house, and we were happily married.


Robs finished his NVQ2 and NVQ3 and decided to look for another job (while still working I must say).


Fast forward now to 2006 and Robert's bother Barry had got himself a new job with a building firm and they offerred one to us which included letting Rob go back one day and one evening a week to college to get his HND in Building Management - we jumped at the chance and took it. The pay wasn't great but it was enough, with a promise of more as Rob progressed with his degree. We were constantly told that this was a secure job, lots of work in the pipeline and ongoing, so we were again feeling at ease.

Me and my precious little Mo

Time for baby number 3 - Morgan. Now this was a good pregnancy but with complications at the end which meant Mo was born premature, I didn't handle it too well and so Robs took a couple of weeks off work unpaid (so the bills mounted again), to help support me which was invaluable, and bonded us all so much I look back now an just think it was worth it.






Everything continued as it was (no pay increases as there wasn't as much work as they had said) until the October of 2009 when they started laying off workers - including Robs. Luckily Robs had a redundancy payment which tied us over for around a month and a half. Robs failed to find work after that, and became despondent with the building trade as a whole - having had so much bad luck. Now this is where it all got a lot worse.


A man Rob had worked with, contacted us as he was interested in starting his own building firm and wondered if Robs wanted to be a partner and go halves. Robs was by this point chomping at the bit to work, and had always expressed an interest in having his own company - something to pass on to the boys when they were older.


So after some trepidation on my part, we jumped both feet in as I will always support Rob. We took out another loan to give us a good head start if the business didn't work. The company was formed and started working quite quickly, work coming in steadily, all be it not that local and long hours. Robs put everything into it. Then came a job that caused us concern. A relative of the business partner offered a job that was worth a heck of a lot of money so was a big deal in both of their eyes. Now it was at this point that the partner's girlfriend stepped in and decided she wanted to become a big part of the business and control what was happening. This didn't go down to well with me as I didn't trust her as far as I could throw her (remember the trepidation?) and as she was a big girl I knew that I wouldn't be able to pick her up let alone throw her... Anyway Mr Business Patner ended up taking the money for himself (a lot). We had nothing to prove that he had done this as the invoices had gone to his personal account and no record in ours as his girlfriend had been handling it. Oh god right?! Thousands down the drain again.


We battled and fought, but in the end gave up and settled for 10% of what we were owed as we were both so stressed we were making ourselves ill by this point.
Robs then landed a self employed job for himself with a member of his family (which partially started a few weeks before the company ended) and would you believe it was the same old story again, working with initial invoice paid and then working for absolutely nothing :( and then followed silence on the clients end.


Well a few very, very painful months passed with no work, no money (except my earnings - I took on a, 14 hour a day, chef job to bring in cash). We got into so much debt we were about a week away from foreclosure on the house.
Robs friend in London managed to get him a job - which then meant that for 3 months Rob lived in London away from us, but the money was wonderful and meant we kept our house and car from being taken away. This was the worst time of my life though as we hadn't spent more than 2 nights apart since we were 16.
Work dried up in London and Robs came home, yey, but alas that meant again no money. We kept our heads up just, but the mortgage suffered again, then in July 2011 Robs managed to get a job with his current employer and we started to crawl our way back to normal. 


So in a very long winded way, this is how we got into, out of, into worse, out of, into again and are now trying to get out of debt. I thank you if you managed to stay with me through all that. So many other personal good and bad things happened in those times that just contributed to making it worse, but they are stories for another day.


I hope in whatever way, that I have helped any of you that have debt, to know you are not the only one and that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't always a train!


Lots of love to you all, and if you need any help with anything, or simply an ear to bend then I am here, just comment after this post or on my facebook page.
xxxxx